Zodiac trouble we didn’t see coming!

By now, unless you actually live in another galaxy, you have heard the big news about the zodiac switch. I have not slept a wink all weekend worrying about this.

For some reason, because of the pull of the moon and the tilt of the earth, the Zodiac people have declared that the old system is no longer appropriate and we must change our horoscope signs to save the planet.

Now wait just a minute, this is not like getting married or changing to the new Coke. When you start messing with the Zodiac signs, this is getting serious.  Especially, for someone like me who has been a crab his entire life and now is supposed to be some gentle Gemini twin. I don’t think so. I don’t know how to be a twin. But, if I am going to be a twin, I want to be the evil one.

Apparently, I am not alone in my distress over the zodiac shake up either.  Millions of people are put out by this change. You get use to something like say the taste of Coke, or the feel of a certain brand of toilet paper, and then they switch it on you, it has an immediate unpleasant effect on your outlook. This Zodiac business is  bigger than that.

I spoke to Trudy about this yesterday and she was just beside herself in a rage.

“I feel like I am still a Leo. I was born thinking I was a Leo so that is what I will be”, she proclaimed.  ” I don’t care what those NASA people say.”  Trudy does not like change; she still thinks Pluto is a planet. 

Well, this Zodiac thing is much worse than the change to those little compact light bulbs or low flow toilets (that doesn’t even sound good). This change is REAL and affects people’s self-image. I know at least two people in Florida who now have to change their tattoos because they  have the wrong signs on their butts.  

How could this happen here in America?

Was this what the President had in mind when he called for change?

I bet the jewelry people are behind this, trying to get us to buy  new zodiac necklaces or charm bracelets since sales have been off lately. I know I am not happy about having to throw out my horoscope underwear and spend money on new sheets and pillow cases  because of this new astrological alignment. I bet the Chinese are not changing THEIR zodiac. They like maintaining the old ways. That is why their costs are so low. Changing  zodiac signs is costly and unnerving.

This would never have happened if Jean Dixon were still alive!

…………………………………………………

Well, in case you were asleep all weekend and did not see the new zodiac signs dates here they are: 

• Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
• Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
• Pisces: March 11-April 18.
• Aries: April 18-May 13.
• Taurus: May 13-June 21.
• Gemini: June 21-July 20.
• Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
• Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
• Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
• Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
• Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
• Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
• Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

Wild About Pigs

You may have heard the story going around lately about all the problems wild pigs are causing in the south.  Apparently, there are thousands of  feral pigs that root around at night,tearing up gardens and cropland, in their destructive search for food. The pigs breed fast and have no  natural enemies. They are also dangerous and can be real trouble when provoked or threatened.

Now, I know first hand about these feral pigs. We  have them in the orange grove. They eat the leaves of little trees and love to snack on the low hanging fruit. They also move in packs and tear up irrigation ditches and water lines.

For years we have been trapping them. Many of the workers then use them in slow cooked mexican specialities such as carnitas. But, they do not have widespread appeal beyond the local Mexican community.

 Now what we need to do is expand the market for this wild pork across the country. The demand will then keep the not so little pigs in check and going to market. .  To do this, Americans need to discover what the Italians already know about these pigs and how to cook them. I will guarantee you, people will be  singing operettas from the first bite.

I am talking about  the very best use of wild boar I have seen…and tasted; a speciality of Tuscany, pappardelle al cinghiale.

Forget spaghetti and meatballs. Forget the veal parmesan. Forget everything, Carrabba’s  has taught you about pasta.  Unless you have a grandmother who is Tuscana, you may not know one of the best pasta dishes in all of Italy – Pappardelle al Cinghiale.

 

      Pappardelle al cinghiale.

This Tuscan pappardelle is made of long, wide,  ribbon-like fresh  noodle which is  tossed in the wild boar sauce. The noodle must of course be “Fatte in Casa”  (Homemade).  

The Italian  cinghiale  is a superior meat. It is more flavorful than the maiale  (domestic pig). When it  is  married with tomato sauce and herbs and simmered low and slow for hours, the flavor is nonpareil . The condiment has a distinct taste – much richer than pork. The cinghiale is so tender and rich, making it one of the most succulent Italian  sauces.

Together with the pappardelle, it melts in your mouth..and don’t forget a glass of good Chanti!

OK, that’s it, my mouth is watering, Where is that pig trap???

Have a great weekend.

A simple civil question

Lately, we have been seeing and hearing a great deal of political hay being made by both parties in the wake of the horrible murders and assaults in Tucson by a madman. Both sides accusing the other of a lack of civility in their political rhetoric. While these accusations may be true, from what I have seen, I doubt that  political discussion had any affect on this confused, angry  individual.  He is a cold-blooded killer and should be dealt with accordingly.

But, the question of civility, or lack of it in 21st century America remains. I think it is a stretch to say that politics is the root of this issue; people have become courser and cruder in all aspects of society.

You only have to watch the TV or go to the movies to see that respect of the other individual comes in a distant second to a person’s  achievement and self-aggrandizement. The more one can humiliate an opponent, the more the “crowd” likes it. Other good indicators of crude are the Facebook ramblings and the news comment section of any internet news source. Sometimes I have to quit reading because I feel offended and embarrassed by the ugliness of the comments.

In my opinion,  this lack of civility stems from two sources.

First, The stakes are higher than ever. In every aspect of current American culture, the winners get more, much more money and power than can be imagined. In sports, media, politics, entertainment, business mass marketing makes the winners instant millionaires, or billionaires.

Consider the political players in the US Government game. With its enormous budget, the government delivers to the people  in charge the ability to control where the money goes, who gets taxed, and how the nation’s wealth is distributed. This competition for power and wealth puts this game in the big leagues. So the drive to be number one trumps any thought of being a nice guy.

Second, The impersonal techno age of isolation in which we live  makes it easy to avoid face to face discussions and resolution of disagreements. It is so much easier to trash someone in an email, than it is to sit across the table and confront them face to face.  Remember, last October when Ellen Weiss SVP at NPR fired Juan Williams for speaking his mind. She fired him on the telephone! On the telephone!

When I was a manager, the rule was you could not call yourself a real manager until you had to fire someone. It is easy to promote people and give them raises. It is hard to fire someone. It should be done in a face to face meeting with the person being fired. This is a difficult thing to do, because it forces the manager to acknowledge  the individual is a person with feelings and a family not some impersonal employee number on a computer screen.

It is much easier to criticize someone in an email, or a phone call than it is to look them in the eye and deliver the  bad news. It is easier to be cold and cruel when the object of one’s wrath is a distant tweet and does not have a face.

Sadly, many of us have lost the ability to disagree politely.

It is a matter of civility.

Knowing the ropes

Last year I don’t think I was particularly good or nice, so when Santa saw fit to present me with an iPad, I was clearly surprised. I have had a laptop for a number of years and last year, I went with a smart phone, but this iPad was totally different to me. I asked some people who have iPads, “What do you do with them?” Their answers were all the same, 

Computer person: “Apps.”

Me: “Apps, what are apps?”

Computer person: “You know Apps, Applications.”

Oh. I did not want to appear totally ignorant of the electronic world, so I dropped it at that.

Next, I  went to see Sydney and Kate to ask them.

Sydney: ” Papa, apps are things you do. Games, news, sports…facebook!”

” …and your music ” , pitched in Kate.

“OK, I get it.” I said, still unsure of what “it” is.

Now, I have had this evil iPad for a couple of weeks now and I am getting a bit more familiar with it. The technology still amazes me especially when I see young people navigate so easily and freely around the internet.

When I was young, my basic reference source was an old World Book encyclopedia that my mother bought one volume at a time from the encyclopedia salesman that came door to door. Yes, they sold these books, along with vacuum cleaners door to door.

Anyway, I loved that encyclopedia. When I got ready for bed, I would grab a volume at random and just open it up at any page and start to read about all the wonders of the world. Nevermind that the information was probably dated, it was my ready source of things I wanted to know about.

Now it is so easy to find the sum total of human knowledge on a particular subject just by “googling” it.  Great word googling.  Googing has replaced encyclopedia in the  vocabulary of the nation’s youth. I just hope the company figures out a business plan to use all that money its has made.

Back to the “Apps”.  As I understand it, there are hundreds of thousands of these things available around the world. Some are very good. But some last about a day or two, before they stop working.  Some never work right at all. It is important to decide  which ones are worthwhile. I figure I will get maybe a dozen or so for my device. Beyond that I know I will get too confused.

One App I did load  was recommended by  Sydney. It is called “Cut the Rope”. It is a clever but simple game that has amused and tormented me for a few days now. It requires thought, planning and speed. Three areas of gaming that have been Gordian knots to me. 

So now, I am cutting ropes as fast as I can, hoping to beat this game… before I get to the end of MY rope.

Meanwhile, Sydney and Kate have gone on to something called, “FruitNinja.” Oh, brother!

Snow job

 

OK, here it is the middle of January, the heart of winter and there are snow storms across the country. Why does this surprise some people?  Come on,  if  it is winter, it will be cold and snowy in the country’s northern latitudes.

Now I can appreciate the concern and stress experienced by the folks in Alabama, Georgia and maybe Tennessee (I for one would not like to travel I-24 between Chattanooga and Nashville on ice and snow) but why are these weather people so weird about a winter storm every time a few flakes fall? Why do they make such a big deal about ice and snow? I think it is because they have all this TV air time sold to advertisers and they have to fill it up.

Back in the day when there were only black and white TVs and we did not have remote controls, the weather forecasts were much simpler. For about five minutes at the end of the news, the weather girl, ( there were no meteorologists and chief meteorologists) gave you the current weather, and what she thought tomorrow would bring. She did not confuse you with wind chills, dew points and the like.  Just the facts, ma’am. 

 Sometimes the forecast was right and sometimes it was wrong–just like today. But, there was not a whole big process and an all day ordeal. Nowadays, these people are serious about their snow. One station even has “extended coverage reporting” beginning at 4am tomorrow morning. Oh, brother.

For starters, they will have a half a dozen reporters all bundled up in big puffy coats out in the snow, in various cities. Then, the weather host, will go down the line and each remote reporter will give the rundown about how deep and cold the snow is. But they add that the Department of Transportation is on the job doing everything it possibly can to clear the evil snow.

Then, the reporter will do the mandatory snow scoop and pick up some snow to show the camera how it looks. After that, there is a measurement of the depth using a yardstick or some fancy 50 foot carpenter’s ruler. Finally, the reporter leaves the audience with an admonishment to drive carefully and be cautious.

Well, the only people I know that will be up at 4am watching this extended coverage will be Sydney and Kate. They will want to see if school is cancelled, so they can go back to bed… and sleep late!

Tomato delight

For as long as I can remember, I have enjoyed tomatoes. Especially the old-fashioned kind they had when I was a kid. Now, they call them heirloom tomatoes. Those old tomatoes had a smell, taste and flavor that disappeared when they started changing the cultivars to permit mechanical handling, storage and shipping.

One of my favorite ways to have them  is just simply sliced with olive oil and vinegar, some chopped parsley and salt and pepper. In a moment of culinary creativity, Aimee coined  this dish,” Tomato Delight.”

Well, the other day, I wanted some tomato delight. Nevermind that is was the middle of January and snow was on the ground;  the bounty of summer long gone. I just needed to have that fresh tomatoee experience. Since I had to get a few things anyway, I went to the market.

Down the produce aisle, they had some fine-looking tomatoes. But years of experience had taught me beauty is only tomato skin deep. I am going for taste and smell here. After, looking over a few prime pieces, I made my selection; a good-looking one, the size of my fist. It had the heft and smell of what I was looking for. So engrossed was I with the fruit selection, I barely noticed the sign “Tomatoes, $3.59 lb.”

I picked up my other items and went to the check out.

My bill came to $18.72. I was engaged in a conversation with Martin about soup so I did not pay close attention to the total, I just handed him a $20  got my change and left.

As I was putting my bag in the car, I thought $18.72 seemed high. I did not get that much. I looked at the receipt. There printed in fresh ink was my tomato at $3.20. Three dollars and twenty cents for a tomato! I looked at the tomato again, then the receipt.  I looked back at the store to see if Martin and Pat were laughing at the rube who just paid three dollars-twenty for a tomato. They were not.

I carefully placed the paper bag on the seat and drove slowly home, so as to not bruise or otherwise traumatize my expensive cargo. Arriving home. I carefully rinsed my prize and put it on the shelf.

As I passed by it during the day, I kept admiring its perfect redness. Looking at it, I was heard muttering to myself, “Three dollars, twenty cents, three dollars, twenty cents”, while shaking my head.

About 5:30 that evening, I got my special slicing knife out and with all my mise en place, I cut into the pricey pomme. A tomato perfume met my nose as I produced six very nice slices. After dressing the little beauties with the vinagrette, I threw on some green olives as a lagniappe to myself.

With the first bite, I knew that $3.20 was tastefully spent.

The Inscrutable Oscar

                        Oscar in his “Ottoman Empire”

The other day while watching Lawrence Welk (well, no not really), Donna and I were talking about the problems associated with growing old. Aside from the usual migrating aches and pains, we noted the changing attitudes and how older people tend to be pushed into the background of society. America in the 21st Century is all about being young , new and fresh.

Everything is more involved and takes longer for us to do. Things that used to take an hour, now take all day. Projects that took two days now take  two weeks and things that used to require two weeks to complete, never get done.

Then, we have all the worries about the economy, taxes and healthcare to cause us sleepless nights..

It just seems that living is getting harder and harder. We thought, wouldn’t be nice if we could have someone do all the work and the we could sit around relax and enjoy life more  like Oscar does.

Immediately our conversation and eyes  turned toward Oscar. He was asleep on his plush cushion in his usual spot on the couch.

Oscar is our resident domestic short hair cat. He is ten years old or in human lives, he is pushing 60. He has been with us for over seven years and has worn out two german shepherds and is working on his third. When we got him at the Naples humane society, Oscar was already a big guy weighing in at about 17 pounds. He was not fat, but just big. Now he is about 24 pounds and displays a  formidable presence.

He has diabetes and gets his insulin shots twice a day. He seems to like the whole process. I guess because he gets a treat afterwards.

Oscar spends most of the day in a sunny window spot where he can sleep and watch the birds. Or, you can find him lounging or holding court under the ottoman in the living room.

Oscar does not exercise or chase anything except when he wants to play “catch me if you can” with Kuno. Then he trucks along pretty good.

Oscar has everything a retired individual could want; a clean bathroom daily, a roof over his head, 24 hour anytime buffet and free (to him) medical care.

He does have to put up with Kuno, but they seem to get along OK, as they often eat out of the same bowl,…Kuno’s.

It there is such a thing as reincarnation, coming back as Oscar at our house might not be a bad gig.

Have a great weekend!

Out with the old in with the new.

You can’t swing a dead cat these days without reading some article dripping with  animus by some “expert” condemning the evil baby boomers for their wastrel ways. Apparently, the math of a large aging population and the cost of social security and medicare are causing some of these people to hyperventilate.

First, let’s get something straight from the start. Baby Boomers is a term that has been around for a long time and is used to describe primarily the children of this country born after the end of the Second World War. They are people and not some hideous blood sucking, distant world aliens as the articles make them out to be.  

Of course, they are older people. People who have lived most of their lives working and producing in this country. They have fought in this nation’s wars and helped make the United States a beacon of freedom and fairness in a sometimes very dark world.

Now  these “Boomers” are being cast as the villains and they must, as the new year rule of thumb suggests, to be thrown out to make room  for the new.

Time to throw grandma under the bus. Never mind that she gave birth to you, raised you and gave you your start in life. Although, maybe the values these “experts” came away with are suspect.

The real issue is  the parallax view of rising social security and medicare costs from various segments of the nation’s population and special interests. The fact is, we just spend too much money on everything. The  out of control spending of the federal government in all areas is the real root of the problem.  From health care to defense; from unproductive domestic programs, to corrupted foreign aid grants we just spend way beyond the country’s means.

 A reasonable and real solution would be that all government programs  be reduced significantly across the board… say, twenty percent. Then, everyone will feel some  pain and no one group will be  favored.

However, this is a too simple and logical approach and of course will never happen.

Grandma, watch out for the bus!

The couch grouch

The other day, I was talking with my friend, Howard who has an apartment in NYC. It is on 67th street near Madison Avenue. I guess you could call it studio/one bedroom as it is a big open space with a sleeping loft accessible by a small circular staircase. The apartment is in an old brownstone building and  is convenient to the crosstown bus.

But, I digress.

Howard had a problem.

The problem started when Howard wanted to move some furniture from New Jersey to his New York pied a terre.

He lives in New Jersey most of the time, but does business in New York and sometimes stays overnight.  Among the items he shipped was an antique Queen Anne style couch that he wanted to put in his loft sitting area. Unfortunately, when the sofa arrived, the moving men could not get it up the narrow stairway, so they left it down stairs. Now Howard could have placed it in the living room, but his interior decorator convinced him that would be all wrong. Instead, she arranged for two carpenters to “modify” the couch and then reassemble it upstairs. Adding $720 to the already “priceless”  loveseat.

Such is the cost of fashion design.

Which reminds me of another interior design project, the cost of which almost put Woody out of commission.

A few years ago, my across the street neighbor, Richard and his wife, Janice decided that they wanted to redo their house in a Japanese motif, compete with the sliding rice paper doors, character writing and those little low tables with no chairs. The entire project seemed somewhat strange to me as neither Richard nor his wife had any connection to Japan. He was from Brooklyn and she was from the UK. Nevertheless, they set about this redecorating scheme with alacrity. One problem however,  the enormous American style couch occupying the living room just would not fit the new Japanese style. So, Richard decided he needed to put it in the basement “rec” room.

One Saturday morning, he asked me if I could help him move it. As soon as I said, “Sure”  I knew it was a mistake.

After lunch I proceeded to his house and together we wrestled the leviathan lounger to the basement stairs. With me in front and Richard holding up the light end, I started down the stairs backward, taking one step at a time. About halfway down, I don’t know exactly what happened. Either Richard stumbled or I slipped, but the next thing I knew  I was flying back first down the stairs with the couch in my gut. I reached for the banister, to stop my descent, but I pulled it right off the wall. In an instant, I landed on the basement floor with the couch on top of me and Richard at the top of the stairs staring down in disbelief.

After he climbed down the stairs, stepping on the couch (and me) as he went, Richard freed me from my entombment. I shook off the pain in my back, as he thanked me profusely. Then, I handed him back his piece of banister and went home to sit on my couch and convalesce.

Couch potatoing is better than couch moving.

Stage presence

When I was in college, I was interested in knowing more about live theatre. My course load did not permit me to take some of the fine arts subjects I was interested in, so I joined the student theatre group.  Some of my friends were already involved in student productions so it was a fun adventure for me.

However, at the time, I  lacked the self-confidence to perform on stage and confined my involvement to backstage help. Stage set up, special effects and house support were my areas of responsibility.

I recall my first production was Shakespeare’s, The Tempest. I was the lighting and sound department and helped sell refreshments (beer) during intermission. Beer sales were  critical to the theatre’s funding for costumes and props as well as staff morale.

Anyway, I enjoyed the half-dozen productions I was involved in and learned a lot about live theatre, before I went on to a business degree to earn some money.

Well, apparently, I did not learn enough about the theatre business as now I come to find out that stage hands at Lincoln Center  earn the big bucks.

According to the Washington Examiner:

At Avery Fisher Hall and Alice Tully Hall in Lincoln Center, the average stagehand salary and benefits package is $290,000 a year.

Wait, what… the average compensation of all the workers who move musicians’ chairs into place and hang lights is $290,000!

Yes, in fact, the top paid stagehand at Carnegie Hall makes $422,599 a year in salary, plus $107,445 in benefits and deferred compensation.

No wonder the tickets cost so much.

I am glad these folks are doing so well, but I would do the job for a lot less if I could get to listen back stage to Itzhak Perlman or Isadora Kim.